Do you find homeschool kids to be socially stunted?
August 1, 2009 by Homeschooling Support and Curriculum Tips
Filed under More Homeschooling Answers
Can you answer Georgia Mom’s question about Homeschooling?:
I am a work with families in the middle ga area and find so many of the families I come into contact with that homeschool have very socially stunted children. I’m concerned for them as they grow into adult. Any suggestions I can offer to help them. How do you give your children social experiences to prevent social awkwardness.
Homeschooling Math Curriculum
I am a work with families in the middle ga area and find so many of the families I come into contact with that homeschool have very socially stunted children. I’m concerned for them as they grow into adult. Any suggestions I can offer to help them. How do you give your children social experiences to prevent social awkwardness.
Homeschooling Math Curriculum
Homeschooling Feedback: I am finding more and more kids that are breaking that stereotype, but in general thats how it is.
Homeschooling Feedback: No way!!!
Homeschooling Feedback: They should start a group, that consists of other homeschooled students, to get that social interaction. They could go on field trips together, social gatherings like parties or skating, out of town to visit different states, have pen pals, or now, computer pals that the parents approve of.
Homeschooling Feedback: Yes, a lot of them are. They have to get out and interact with other children and people to get that experience.
Homeschooling Feedback: Yeah.. they don’t get to interact with different people everyday like other kids do. Maybe you should get them to get a job or be on a baseball or basketball team or something. When they’re 15-17 being a waiter/waitress really helps because it forces them to interact with with people of all ages and makes them more confident in social situations. At first they’ll really hate it because they’re out of their comfort zone, but in the end it actually helps a lot.
Hope this helps!
Homeschooling Feedback: Not necesarily socially stunted, but they all seem to be a little weird.
Homeschooling Feedback: That depends- on their parents. I wonder if there have been any independent studies done on the subject. It might be something worth looking into.
Homeschooling Feedback: I don’t know about where you are at, but the people that I know that home school their children have no problem with their children being as you put it, socially stunted. I would like to know what exactly you mean by socially stunted as to you were a bit vague. But I have seen the children interact with other children and actually they are very well adjusted and also they are far ahead of their counterparts in public school. From the way you type, and convey what you are trying to say makes me wonder if you are even qualified to make such a statement. By what standards do you base your opinion on? What is your opinion on the maladjusted children in public schools? I think children these days are safer with home schooling for many reasons. No drugs, no violence, no teachers trying to force upon a child the teacher’s own viewpoints of Communist/Socialist ideals. No child molestation from a teacher. The child actually learns how to study, read, write and speak properly. Math and History are taught instead of ” cultural diversity.” When a child needs access to a chemistry lab, they in most communities can use the school, because we do pay taxes for these schools. Interaction of sports as well. I ask you what are your qualifications to make this judgment. The children I have seen are more adjusted than the children that are in the public schools.
Homeschooling Feedback: I wasn’t home schooled although I have had a similar conversation with women regarding day care.
Most women I know believe that day care is good for their children because they get to socialize and make friends and it prepares them for school.
I am not “against” day care and I do not believe because mothers chose to work and send their children to day care are negligent parents. I just decided it wasn’t for our family.
We joined the YMCA and also go to church on Sunday’s where my children attend Sunday school. My children were very active in different groups in both church and at the Y. They made friends and gained social skills. While they always looked forward to seeing their friends and playing, they always were ecstatic to see me walk through the door to retreive them.
By the time they went to kindergarten, they were looking forward to meeting even more friends and learning because they had already been through the process in small doses in Sunday school.
I would think that if someone home schools their children, they would sign them up for some other classes, independent of their home school curriculm or to have some classes as a part of their curriculm. Such as gym class or another sport such as Little League, T-Ball or soccer. Also, since these are school age children, they can also become involved in Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts or the 4H Club. There are so many ways for these children to learn to socialize, even from a young age, and at little or no cost. I would think it would help to start this as young as possible. At ages as young as 2 my children were learning to socialize by going to the play ground and making “friends” even if it was only for 30 minutes playing on the slide.
Whenever we left the playground, my children would chat the whole way home about their new found friendships, even if they never even asked the other child their name.
I think socialization comes naturally for children, from very young and as long as the parent keeps them active with groups, such as church or a community organization, such as the YMCA, I wouldn’t see how this would be a problem unless the child is naturally shy.
I also find that children with higher levels of self confidence do better in social situations, so perhaps the parent can work on that with the child if the child is uncomfortable at this point to going to any interactive group functions.
Also, one last note…if a child is entertained watching TV or playing video games, why would the child feel necessary to have others in his life?
Homeschooling Feedback: Just don’t concern yourself………It sounds to me that perhaps you need to worry more about yourself…..If you are hanging out with these poor,repressed,social outcast….than you must be one also…….or why else would you even have knowledge of them or how they are ?
by the way,……it really does help to have a little bit of knowledge on the subject matter before making comments…and from your comment it shows you have little to none……stereotyping and generalization is a form of laziness …which leads to a stunted form of intelligence…and leaves a person ignorant…….
Homeschooling Feedback: I keep hearing this, and it is such a silly stereotype. It is simply not true for the VAST majority of homeschooling kids. There are about 10% who stand out as weird, and they would be weird if they were in school.
The real norm is that homeschooled kids are so busy that they are more social than kids in school, usually. Homeschooled kids find time to visit tons of museums, volunteer at nursing homes or the zoo, and work in their family businesses. Really great athletes in sports that require long daily workouts such as ice skating, gymnastics, etc. are often homeschooled because there is no time to sit six hours in school, do another two or three hours of homework, spend an hour on the bus, and still fit in a workout that lasts three or four hours. Families that homeschool often travel or pursue skiing or something like that.
The only thing weird about most homeschoolers that I know (and I know hundreds) is that they aren’t slaves to fashion and brand names, they tend to do extremely well academically, (being avid readers), and they pursue probably too many activities: scouting, 4H, sports, chess, music (playing at least a couple of instruments) and science fairs, spelling bees, etc., etc., etc. Most don’t cuss at their parents, party and get drunk on weekends, do drugs or cause their parents any other grief. They tend to get jobs earlier because their hours are flexible and they know how to work. Then they do quite well in college. Maybe they are a little weird, after all……
Homeschooling Feedback: Some of that might be the area you are working with. Isn’t that a very rural farm type area? I live in North Florida and drive through GA to North GA, and driving through that area it seems like a lot of farm land. I could be wrong, but it may not have a lot of social activities and cultural activities that cities offer, but possibly different social experiences that are more familiar to farm families and farm towns like horses, animals, etc.. I would also expect that families in that town from the public school also are probably more “socially stunted” or whatever you want to call it, less exposed to city experiences as much as the homeschool families.
Homeschooling Feedback: No.
Homeschooling Feedback: I wonder if you asked people the same question about public school kids if you would get the same response, social interaction doesn’t always bring out the best in people.
Homeschooling Feedback: Could you be more specific about what you mean by “socially stunted”? One person’s definition can be very different from another’s.
And I’m not sure how you would go about necessarily ‘preventing social awkwardness’. Lots of public schooled kids are socially awkward. They have tons of social experiences, so I’m not sure why you would think that it’s the social experiences that are the sole key to not being awkward.
As for us, we get out regularly and see other families. I also coach my kids when I see things are not going well or when we are going to enter into a new situation.
Homeschooling Feedback: I know a lot of homeschooling families, and none of the children I know are socially stunted. My children have many social outlets, and we use them daily. You can go on Yahoo Groups to find a home schooling support group in your area, and print off all the playgroups and such. That’s a start. Also, you can recommend the scouts, boy and girl. There are bound to be neighborhood sports they can get involved in. The list is endless. Any place a public school kid can go to socialize, homeschool kids can go too. It’s not that hard.
Homeschooling Feedback: you were very unclear in your question. you said you “work with” but I don’t know what that means. Are you a social worker? Then that would mean you are involved with families that are in need of assistance, which means your data is a little skewed (you don’t have any experience with famiies that are successful in their homeschooling experience)
And you didn’t say what you mean by socially stunted. Are they shy? Quiet? Maybe they aren’t up to date on pop culture (good thing, by the way) do they dress differently (again, could be a good thing)
My point being, the problem is not that they homeschool their children.
Maybe the biggest problem is the way they are being compared to another group of people.
I have a huge network of homeschool families in my life, and since I teach in our church and volunteer in our community, I also have a huge network of publicschool and privateschool children in my life. On average, I see more social problems with publicschool children simply because they are so used to being around their peers all day, they usually are lost in situations where they have to interact with people of different ages, and don’t get me started on manners, politeness and basic etiquette.
It’s funny, but even 30 short yrs ago, the quiet, respectful, modestly dressed children were the “socially normal” kids and the disrespectful, belly baring group got expelled from school.
But, you want to help these families in your life, gather a list of social activities for them. Get them in contact with the local homeschool group. Give them contact information for the local rec center and little league and youth football and things like that.
Homeschool families are no different than anyone else. They like to do the same kinds of things and keeping that in mind should help you gather information for them.
Homeschooling Feedback: As a homeschooling mom knowing literally hundreds of homeschoolers, I don’t know any socially stunted kids. Of course, you don’t give a definition of what you consider socially stunted…let’s see, the kids i know are friendly, compassionate, able to speak on several topics outside of clothes, TV and their iPod. They are respecful of both adults and younger children, yet know how to have fun with kids their own age.
Working through the autism society, I can give you many many examples of true lack of social skills, so perhaps I don’t take as seriously the argument that homeschooling leads to social awkwardness. It seems rather ridiculous in that light.
You also don’t mention what your job is, or how many children you actually know that homeschool (’many’ of five children could be as little as three, know what I mean?) Your own two children are too young to have been in school, do you consider them socially stunted?
Homeschooling Feedback: I think that you need to first take the children out of the idea boxes that you keep them in. Yes there are socially akward children that are homeschooled, but there are also children in school that are also like this.
For some children it is not a matter of being homeschooled or public schooled or private schooled that makes them socially different, it is their personality and inteligence level.
I know a grown woman that is *MENSA* smart and belongs to said group, went through public school her entire life, out there in many social groups because she homeshools her children and she wants them to have that outlet like she did, but socially, she would be WAY behind socially if you decided to put peoples social skills on a “level scale” She misses many social cues and, although, she likes to talk she often comes off as snotty and brainy.
My suggestion is to not put children on “levels” but take them as they are and help them grow to the best of thier indivual levels.
Homeschooling Feedback: Wow. I never considered the fact that there might really be lame homeschooled kids. I figured it was just a dumb stereotype. I’m homeschooled, and here’s a list of people you can ask about me being “socially stunted” :
Mario (16)- my neighbor who says I’m cool
J.T. (14)- my neighbor who wants to go out with me
Amirah (14)- my BFF
Jacquiscia (16)- a good friend and fellow pianist
AJ (16)- my BFF’s neighbor, who wants to go out with me…
Jerrell, NiAmber, Jorrye, Tyeshia-the list goes on and on. My parents made sure I got out among other kids. These are the things I did: 1-played team sports for the Recreation Department, 2-went to a local day camp every summer, 3-hung around outside to get to know neighbors, 4-hung out in my parents shop to get to know the customers’ kids.
Good luck helping the friendless and shut-in.
I have been on both sides of the fence. My children have been in public school and now are homeschooled. I take offense to the term “socially stunted”, probably because my children are anything but. I would like to thank those that suggested we get our kids involved or they may develop phobias…my kids are probably more involved in society since they are homeschooled, and don’t show any signs of phobias. As parents, we want the best for our children, and if I for one minute thought that I was hurting my children, I would put them back in the public school system (where they were threatened, offered drugs, cussed at, etc.) My oldest daughter (13) volunteers at a nursing home. She reads to them once a week. She is also on a bowlng league, is in a reading club, does field trips, plays outside, attends soccer games, goes to movies, has a diverse group of friends. My younger two do just as many activities if not more. If you are not into homeschooling, that is fine. We won’t try and force you to participate, but we would sincerely appreciate you not trying to force your beliefs on us as well. If you don’t homeschool, it is easy to come up with criticisms that are unjustified. I was once told that I “sheltered” my kids and protected them. Isn’t that our job as parents? To gently guide them into life? Instead I’ve watched many throw their kids into public school because it’s nice to have them occupied. I guess I don’t feel like that. I taught in public school for many years and saw many kids that needed the attention of their parents. I’m glad that I have the opportunity to spend the time with my kids that many do not. As far as “socially stunted”, you would have to ask my kids and their large group of friends about that:-)
Homeschooling Feedback: “they all seem to be a little weird”
wow, lefty, wherever did you find the time to meet each and every home schooled child?
Homeschooling Feedback: I homeschooled 4 children. They are all different kids but as far as other people are concerned I have been told my children are the friendliest, polite young people they have met. I have not had a complaint of any kind. Seems to me, my children are socially adjusted just fine.
Homeschooling Feedback: As someone who was homeschooled, I say it all depends on the family and how they handle things. Homeschool was just my means of getting an education, I still knew lots of kids my age and we out all the time and met up with them for movies and such, and it also depends on the age of the children. For me, homeschool was something that wasn’t big in my community so there were very few kids who did that but I think that if that wasn’t the case and there were more families and kids doing homeschool in the same area, a group would be great. I often wished i had had one of those, cause I was in a Christian homeschool academy and it was hard to share the christian morals that my family and school had taught and that i was learning about with my friends, because they just didn’t understand what my school was all about. But i think they just have to get out there and mingle, take some chances and don’t be shy….show the world that homeschoolers aren’t what they’ve always thought they were. Homeschool isn’t as bad as I think everyone sees it as and for sure, the kids who are homeschooled aren’t anything but normal.
Homeschooling Feedback: So… getting drunk, flunking grades, driving recklessly, having no sympathy for others, splitting into social groups by race, gender, and income, not caring what older people can teach them, and acting like a four-year old in the mall when you don’t buy them that new pair of $65 designer jeans are qualities you actually consider the norm?
Well you’re right, we’re weirdos. So weird that we are in sports and activities for fun not glory. So weird that we’re reading every book we can simply because we want to know every thing. So weird that we wear what we like because we like it, not because the clique told us to.
In fact I’m so socially stunted that every adult I’ve ever met tells me that I’m the smartest and most respectful teen they’ve met.
Homeschooling Feedback: Well I am a home-schooled teenager I’ve been home-schooled since 5th grade, and I find that I became more outgoing through homeschooling. I will be graduating next year and starting college at the age of 15. But what kept me with good social communication skills would have to be my old friends from the public education I had received before, also chatting and pen-pals I began a year after my home education started. But the best advice to give would be to tell them to let their children get involved with sports, and/or pen-pal programs. Also a big thing is going out and meeting new people their own age to hang around with.
Homeschooling Feedback: No…I was in public school until my last two years of high school, but for the last two years I was homeschooled…I had always been a shy person, but after I was homeschooled I became more social. There are many programs in different communities that help with social skills…some of them even plan field trips, study sessions, group activities, etc.
Homeschooling Feedback: The parents of home schooled children/young adults, need to arrange for extra curricular activities to provide social activity. Swimming, gymnastics, dance, baseball etc. is one good way to provide social activities. Being involved in 4H, Church group, or other socially active group is beneficial as well.
~It is the children that are not exposed to society on a regular basis that fail to learn socially acceptable behavior. These children need daily contact with society in all aspects of daily living. Meaning the grocery store, the park, the bank, the library, the pool…. The longer a child is away from societym the harder it is for that person to emerge into the world. Mental illnessess may develope, such as Agoraphobia, which is the fear of public places.
Homeschooling Feedback: I do not find this to be true
Homeschooling Feedback: Are you serious????
What do you mean socially stunted???
Theres no such thing! home schoolers arent another species for god sakes, and they are not kept in solitary confinement. They do socialize with other people. Even the ones who live on cattle ranches in the out back who have no contact with anyone except their immediate family still have social skills, they socialize with their family, they see it on tv they go to family outings.
Geez these kind of questions really make me mad!!!!
Homeschooling Feedback: I’m homeschooled (well, tutored [same thing]), and have had essentially no problem interacting with other kids, adults, people in general, etc. However, this may be due to the fact that I played on a high school baseball team for five years, wrestled for 3 years, am part of a bunch of homeschool groups and am constantly taking cummer school classes for extra credit. I’ve met some homeschoolers who’ve had very little experience with the “outside” world, and, frankly, most of them have their heads in the clouds. But don’t let this be the sole reason for not homeschooling a child. Most homeschoolers score an average of 30 points higher on standardized tests than public school children. I would say that, with enough exposure to society, a homeschooler will be fine.
Homeschooling Feedback: No the homeschoolers I have met (I was homeschooled and now homeschooll my child) all participate in many “social” acticites including playgroups, music lessons, homeschooling groups, karate, group field trips, cooking classes, dance class, art lessons, nature programs at the state parks, playgrounds, swimming lessons, the SCA, Volunteering, gymnastics, etc. They also know how to sociallize with afults and younger children better because they around people of ALL ages not jsut their own age group. The only thing I notice that would set them apart is they are smarter and find things like fashion, shopping, material items,and (when older) parying, less meaningful and so don’t have super large groups of friends as they find these materialistic actions useless. If thats beings “odd” though then I’d rather my child be odd then to grow up thinking that looks and drinking to be popluar are whats important.
Perhaps you should concentrate more on learning to write than on what you perceive to be social awkwardness in others? Just saying…. your post is very poorly written and choppy. Is English your first language?
I have been homeschooled my entire life and I have met TONS of homeschooled kids that are complete misfits and do not know how to have a conversation. The only reason I ever survived is because I am very out going and as a child I made sure that my parents gave me oppertunities to socialize at church, youth group, etc.
and FYI socializing with other homeschooled students doesn’t help. Your kids will not make it in a world where a first impression is ten seconds. They need to know how to dress, how to act, and how to seem NORMAL.